Eventide of the Bear Read online

  A blast of hatred came from him. Her mouth opened, and nothing came out.

  “Just like your mother. Boosting your overblown ego by making males fight over you.”

  Cedrick was here.

  Here.

  “What’s your problem?” Ryder paused, undoubtedly seeing the power of the God emanating from the Mt. Hood Cosantir.

  A smothering wave of silence filled the clearing.

  Cedrick pointed at her. “She was banished from my territory after she goaded two young males into attacking each other. Their battle was so vicious they both died.”

  Gasps sounded around the area.

  Roaring filled Emma’s ears and red seared the edges of her vision.

  Not again. No, please, Mother of All, not again.

  “What?” Ryder stared down at her. “No…”

  His voice disappeared in the roaring in her ears. Someone took her hand…said something…but above it all, she heard Cedrick’s snarls. “She…”

  His tortured snarls carried her down, down, until memories were a fire of agony riding her bloodstream, burning her heart to ashes. Her sight blurred into a shroud of gray, her ears tuned to the song of tragedy where all she could hear were the sounds of two males fighting, savaging each other, growling, and roaring.

  Her screams echoed down the hallway. Blood covered the walls, the floor, filling her vision with red. “I’ll leave. I’ll leave. Don’t fight—oh, please, don’t fight.”

  Tears burned her abraded cheeks as she grabbed Ryder’s arm and shook it. “I’ll leave. He loves you. Don’t fight.”

  The arm tightened around her.

  Everywhere she looked was red, blood everywhere; the unspeakable stench of death filled the air. Her ears heard only the gasping last breaths—and still fighting. Fighting. Grunts and thumps, growling and roaring. Why wouldn’t they stop?

  “No more!” She tried to put her hands over her ears and couldn’t move. “Stop fighting. I don’t want you to fight! I’ll take you both. Don’t hurt each other.” Her fingers curled around an arm, and she shook it. Tried to pull him away from the fight. “Don’t hit him. You don’t need to hit him—I’ll do anything.”

  “What the fuck?” Voices sounded around her. The battle filled her head. Andre’s swearing. Shrieks of agony. “Please…no, please, please.”

  Cedrick’s furious voice broke through. “See how she makes the males fight? Damn you, you—” A blow—and pain burst in her cheek.

  More roaring sounded. Her body shook. The world itself was falling apart. She wrapped her arms around herself, unable to look. There would be blood everywhere. Her men—dead, her heart with them.

  “You got her wrong, you fucking asshole. Cosantir or not, you’re an idiot.”

  Was that Ryder? Was he still alive? More snarls drowned out the voices. She was drowning in blood.

  “Emma.” The rough, deep voice filled with the power of the God sliced through the snarling and cries of pain. “Tell me who’s fighting.”

  “Andre. Gary. Stop, stop, stop.” She struggled against the arms restraining her. She had to stop them. Ice filled her center—she knew what would happen.

  “Easy, little bear.” A familiar, smoky voice was gentle…for her. “You don’t have to—”

  “I do believe she does. It is time to get to the heart of this.” The clipped voice reverberated with so much power that every instinct in her cried for her to find a dark cave far, far, far from anyone. Run. Hide.

  “Not your business, Calum. It’s between me and this female.” The angry voice made shivers start up inside her.

  In her lap, a hand clasped hers. She stared at it, blinking as her vision cleared. Lean fingers, reddened knuckles, the wrist bones strong. Dark hair lightly furred a leanly muscled forearm. Ryder. He was pressed cat-close against her left side, his other arm around her waist.

  A powerful arm crossed her thighs, and a big hand curved around her hip, holding her in place. Ben. He was on her right, his left arm behind her shoulders.

  She pulled in a careful breath. She was pinned between the brothers. They weren’t fighting. She’d stopped them before…before…

  But they were surrounded by shifters staring down at her. At the forefront, Cedrick stood, hands fisted, radiating hatred. When his hand opened into claws, she’d be condemned again. Sent away from love and hope and home.

  Banished.

  But her males were alive. They mustn’t fight—not with a Cosantir.

  She closed her eyes. “I’ll go,” she whispered. “Just let me go.”

  A feminine growl came from her right. Vicki stood on the other side of Ben. Her tight expression held not anger, but concern. For Emma. Catching Emma’s gaze, Vicki straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin. Get a spine, bear.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Emma whispered and saw the twitch of her friend’s lip.

  Next to Vicki, Angie gave Emma a firm nod—one a mama bear might administer to a loved cub in danger.

  Behind Cedrick was Bree. Only Shay’s arm around her waist kept her from joining Emma. She was openly crying.

  Crying for me? Emma blinked back her own tears and pulled in a small breath. Then a bigger one. She wasn’t alone. She had…friends. The miracle edged into her heart, and the fear receded slightly.

  She’d planned to return and face down Gawain, the male from Pine Knoll, before telling Ben and Ryder about her past. This was just…a bit…more than she’d anticipated. She needed more courage. Dig deeper. She realized the warmth seeping into her came from Ben and Ryder.

  “Bard.”

  At the title of respect, she looked up. Calum—her Cosantir—stood in front of her. The shimmer of power increased as his eyes darkened to black with the presence of the God. Her judgment was at hand.

  “Tell me why the males in the other territory fought,” his British-accented voice demanded, brooking no refusal.

  “They fought over me.” Misery swept over her. “I flirted with them. My fault.”

  “By the God, all females flirt at a Gathering,” said a gruff older male.

  The arms around her didn’t relax at her confession. Ryder’s hand actually tightened around hers.

  “Females flirt.” The Cosantir repeated, “Tell me why the males fought.”

  Ben pulled her closer to his massive frame. His huffing growl wasn’t directed at her, but at the Cosantir.

  The Cosantir didn’t even flinch. His black gaze burned, drawing out her memories the way she would gather the strands of a song.

  “I was going to mate with Gary, but Andre followed us,” she whispered, unable to look away from Calum’s depthless eyes. “Andre was angry; he’d wanted Phoebe, but she’d chosen Gary instead. Andre said I should go with him since he was bigger.”

  A snort. “Young males.” Alec’s voice.

  “And then…” She started to shake. If she could have run, she would have. Would have fled. She yearned for the safe, quiet…empty…forest. No one to judge.

  Ben squeezed her shoulder, holding her in place, holding her in the present. “Darlin’, did you mate with Gary?”

  She pulled in a shuddering breath and felt Ryder rub his shoulder against hers in feline support. Courage. “No,” she whispered. “At the mating-room door, Andre stopped us. Gary told him to leave, only Andre ran his hand down my face. And I…I could smell him and hear him, and…”

  The hideous cry broke out of her. “Andre kissed me, and I kissed him, and Gary shoved us apart, and they started fighting, and it was all my fault!”

  The first sob wrenched at her, tearing apart her ribs, clawing her heart. The ones following were even more painful.

  “Hell.” Ben pulled her into his lap, surrounding her with his arms, his size, his strength.

  So much blood. So much death. Guilt crushed her under an implacable paw. “Let me go.” She struggled against the bear’s hold. “I did it. Why did I do that? I was with Gary. I shouldn’t—”

  “By the God.” A callused hand caught her chi
n, forcing her to meet Ryder’s harsh gaze. “You’re not exactly old, so when did this happen? How many Gatherings had you been to, Emma?”

  “Three years ago. It was my first Gathering. The only one I’ve ever been to.” She wrenched away from Ben and spat at Calum, “I don’t know what I did that night, but I’ll never again be the reason anyone dies. Banish me again. Here…” She leaned forward and tilted her face so he could claw her. “Do it. I’ll go away and—”

  Ben yanked her back.

  Ryder’s hand closed over her mouth, muffling her. “Uh-uh, little bear.”

  She strained against the two males, just wanting to run, and then all the energy drained out of her. She sagged in Ben’s arms.

  Ryder took his hand away and stroked her hair away from her face.

  After a second, she opened her eyes.

  The Daonain silently stared at her, brows furrowed, shaking their heads. Yes, she’d disappointed them all. Horrified them.

  “That’s not how it happened,” Cedrick growled. “She’s—”

  “That was exactly how it happened.” Gawain gently moved Angie to one side as he stepped out of the crowd with Owen at his back. He scowled at the Cosantir of his territory. “I told you so then and there.”

  Cedrick’s color heightened. “Watch it, cat, or you’ll find yourself out of—”

  “Ssssst.” Hissing, the cahir Owen stepped in front of Gawain.

  “Well,” Alec interrupted, “I think my mate would call your Gathering a clusterfuck.” His voice was easy. Smooth. “It seems odd the God would banish a female for merely being a battle prize.”

  “Odd indeed.” With a frown, Calum bent and ran his fingertips over the scars on Emma’s cheek. Did it again. His fingers were hotter than normal skin temperature and left tingling in their wake. “Emma, why did you say you were banished?”

  “Because I-I was….” She was shaking so hard it was impossible to breathe.

  “Easy, little bear,” Ryder murmured. His hands closed around hers.

  “I banished her. Rightfully so.” When the Mt. Hood Cosantir curved his fingers into claws, Emma shuddered.

  “You tried.” Calum’s accented voice had chilled. “It appears the God disagreed.”

  Ben cleared his throat. “When the Mother forgives, the black disappears, leaving only normal scars behind. So…”

  So how would Calum know if her banishment had happened or not? Emma frowned.

  Calum glanced at Ben and then smiled at her. “To the eyes, nothing is left. But a banishment leaves marks on the soul for those who can see.” And a Cosantir could see.

  “She wasn’t?” Cedrick stared at her. He stepped back, looking as if he’d been punched. “She wasn’t.”

  Emma touched her face, feeling the thin scars. Cedrick had pronounced her banishment, but she’d never been able to face seeing the black marks on her face.

  She’d never looked.

  I was never banished. “But Andre and Gary died because of me.”

  “You were the excuse. You didn’t do anything.” Gawain glanced at Calum. “Hell, Emma was so innocent she didn’t even know how to flirt, let alone get two males to fight. I was the first male she’d ever had. Each time someone took her to a room, she was surprised—filled with delight—someone wanted her.”

  Emma shook her head. “But, I—”

  “By the God,” Ryder muttered and pulled her tighter against him. “Little bear, don’t you see? Those males were primed to fight. If you hadn’t provided an excuse, they’d have found something else.”

  Ben kissed her fingers. “Honey bear, did you ask them to fight for your favor?”

  “No, of course not!”

  “A fair number of females do.” Ryder glanced toward the right, his eyes turning cold. “Genevieve always did. It’s not against the law…just crappy behavior.”

  “But I’d chosen a male and turned to another.”

  “Aye,” Ben agreed. “It’s okay. It happens. A more experienced female might—might—have been able to control her response.”

  “But a female at her first Gathering is usually overwhelmed,” Vicki said. “You’re out of control. Your mind is trapped in all the sensations.”

  Every male’s scent, the sound of a voice, a laugh…she’d kept getting lost. She turned to Gawain. “I didn’t flirt? Didn’t do anything wrong?”

  “No, you didn’t do anything at all.” His lips turned up. “There’s no law against being adorable.”

  Ben’s growl rumbled through his chest and vibrated across her skin.

  Gawain took a careful step back.

  With a satisfied grumble, Ben stroked her hair. “You reacted like any young female, darlin’. You did nothing wrong.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. She’d paid, perhaps unfairly, but she was here and… “They died.”

  One arm around Vicki, Alec stood next to Calum. “The consequences of being stupid can be harsh. They were young, driven by testosterone, and out of control. They paid an ugly price.”

  “The world isn’t always fair.” The God still rode Calum’s shoulders as he turned a black gaze upon Cedrick. “But judgments given by a Cosantir should be.”

  “Three years.” Ryder’s hand tightened painfully on hers. “You lived wild for three fucking years.” With every breath, his growls grew more audible.

  “Emma. By the God…” The Mt. Hood Cosantir sank to his knees as if unable to remain upright. “What have I done?”

  “You drove a vulnerable, innocent female into the wilderness. Made her think she was guilty. Alone for three. Fucking. Years. That’s what you did.” Ryder’s fury reverberated from the ridges. He rose. His hands were claws at his side.

  In the clearing, the shifters whispered, and Emma realized their anger was focused on the Mt. Hood Cosantir. On Emma’s behalf.

  She had friends. Friends.

  Before Ryder could attack, Emma grabbed his calf with both hands and held him back. “No fighting.”

  “He wronged you. He—”

  “Maybe. But Gary was his son. You know how you’d feel if Minette was hurt or…” Died. She couldn’t even say the word. The world would stop if Minette died.

  Ryder froze, and after a second, his fingers uncurled. “Fuck.” He met her eyes, sharing the knowledge. A child’s death would be the worst pain ever possible.

  “Emma.” Still on his knees, Cedrick had tears in his eyes. “I’ve been so…filled with hatred. Gary’s death. Andre’s death. Neither was your fault.” His jaw tightened as his voice lowered. “In my grief, I looked for someone or something to blame.”

  Pain radiated from him.

  “Cosantir—”

  He shook his head, his lips twisting into a half-smile. “Not for much longer. I think when I return, the God will lift his hand from me and choose another. My vision has grown…narrow.”

  “But…” He’d no longer be the Cosantir of his territory?

  He leaned forward and took her hand.

  Ben tensed behind her. Ryder stepped closer.

  “Emma, you are not like your mother, and you never were. I see that clearly now. The town and I treated you unfairly—as a child, as a female, as a bard. Eventually, I hope you can forgive me.”

  “I already have,” she said gently.

  She’d learned something about people. About Cedrick. And about Ryder, as well. Both her mother and Genevieve were like stones falling into a small pond. The self-centered impact sent anger and hatred rippling outward to affect those around them.

  Chuckling, Alec helped the stunned Mt. Hood Cosantir to his feet. “Emma has a soft heart. My female would’ve gutted you and left you for the coyotes.”

  “Damn straight,” came from Vic.

  “I don’t care if she’d disembowel him or not. Got other concerns here.” Ryder lifted Emma from Ben’s lap and onto her feet. His dark voice took on a sharp edge. “Dammit, female, why the fuck didn’t you tell us about all this before?”

  “Dammit, female?” />
  Excuse me?

  She’d survived Cedrick, banishment, hiking down a mountain. Her polite allotment was gone. All used up. “Let me think.” She put her hands on her hips. “Maybe because I’ve only liked you for a week or so? Or maybe because you have issues with females?”

  He blinked at her, as startled as a cougar bitten on the nose by a mouse.

  Dammit, female. Oooh, the insult still burned. Come to think of it, hadn’t he asked a favor of her? “Will you do me a favor and wallop me when I mess up?”

  “So…male…be warned. Anytime you address me as dammit, female, you’ll get this for an answer.” She punched him on the arm. Hard.

  Hard enough that he winced.

  Ben looked shocked. “Emma?”

  After a stunned moment, Ryder roared, his laughter deep and rich. “I need to be more careful about what I request.”

  She checked his face carefully, surreptitiously shaking her throbbing hand. The man’s biceps were harder than rocks. “You’re serious?”

  “Oh, yeah.” He hugged her and kissed her lightly. “Shows me you care, or you wouldn’t have bothered. I’ll try not to mess up again.”

  He read her well. “Okay, then.”

  As the anxiety trickled out of her, she started thinking about escape. She needed quiet. She wanted to hide. What must everyone think? Would they look down on her for…for causing this mess during Beltane?

  Before she could take a step, the Cosantir—her Cosantir—stopped her. “Bard, Vicki said you knew Beltane songs. After some food and drink to revive you, might you grace us with a song or two?”

  Rousing cheers filled the clearing and warmed her heart.

  She looked around. The shifters of Cold Creek were smiling. Happy with her and for her. Yes, this was her town.

  Angie pulled her away from Ben for a hug. Bree and Bonnie followed. Vicki grinned and said quietly, “Ice down your hand—and next time aim for a softer spot.”

  Next time.

  Knowing Ryder, the occurrence of a next time was entirely possible. Even better, Emma would be around to chastise him and would have the courage to do so.

  With a wavering giggle, Emma hugged the small, incredibly tough female. “I will. I will do that.”